Feeling and thinking in Psalm 13: One wound that never fully heals?

Feeling and thinking in Psalm 13: One wound that never fully heals

PSALMS 13

For the choir director: A psalm of David.

1 O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?

How long will you look the other way?

2 How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,

with sorrow in my heart every day?

How long will my enemy have the upper hand?

3 Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!

Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.

4 Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!”

Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.

5 But I trust in your unfailing love.

I will rejoice because you have rescued me.

6 I will sing to the Lord

because he is good to me.

According to the saying, “Time heals all wounds.” It has been more than 50 years since some wounds. Healing is not the same as restoration.

I had ankle surgery a few years ago. And more than 30 years before that I had two pretty major heel surgeries. I’m very pleased with the results. I can walk without pain. But I still can’t run.

4 June 1987 my brother, Dan Bode, died. He never met my four children or my 9 grandchildren. 36 years, 7 months and 24 days ago should be ample time for healing. But this side of eternity I still have no siblings.

Sorrow, anguish, feeling all alone--I’ve known these feelings. We can’t really talk about all our wounds. But we can talk about unfailing love.

I may not be healed up from all the bumps of life, but I have so much love. I am a very loved person. God loves me very much. My parents love me. My wife loves me. I have children and grandchildren who love me. And I have friends and Christian family that have poured love all over me. Over and over and over and over I have been loved, am still loved and know I will be loved.

And yet.

I want those who have left the faith to come back. I want those humans who have hurt me to be more than healed. I want them to be restored.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

Ephesians 6:12 NLT

I have an enemy. The enemy isn’t a human. And I don’t want that enemy to win. Not in my heart and mind, not in my marriage, not in my family, not in my church. Nowhere, never, not at all.

So I pray. Psalm 13 is a prayer. It starts with the feeling of abandonment and ends with the feelings of closeness and goodness. I figure this is the path I will walk everyday until I see Jesus in heaven.